[TUESMAY72002|01:17 p.m.]

[ mental illness in rural ireland ]
ok yo. in CRS. komputer is still MIA, and have no idea when it will be fixed. HOWEVER, my family email still works. so. if you need me until the krisis is over i am jhennan@bwr.eastlink.ca. jah? jah.

apologies to robin. it HAS been a month since me birthday and i have yet to thank her or gush about her present. or really, anybody's present. but you see robin's present is an adventure that needed to be told longform, and is tarted working on it but uhh...yeah, the komp. you must still hld your breath [ha] for the birthday tale, but in the meantime yes robin i loved your present to peices and you really went overboard ma'aam. entirely too genereous for the broke little dormouse that you are. and your present [which was also a tale and a half. sheesh. i'll email you. i didn't get a chance to write a letter to go along w/, bekause it suddenly had to be mailed. but you will get a email about it. one day.] is pleasantly [and hopefully karefull] winging itself towards you via the kind hearted kanada post system. hint: it's not a pipebomb. [darn, huh?]

hey sarah, my mum kalls them ant-qs too. the knob that she is. she said goodnight to me 2 nights ago bekause i was downstairs getting her to help me w/ english and do you know what she said? "good night dolly face" that freak.

and what kills me about the komputer thing is that I HAVE A LAYOUT READY. IT"S NEITHER ORANGE NOR PUTRID. damn, huh?

OOH! i saw spiderman on saturday. good god what a good time. and that's not necessarily bekause it was this great movie. i had a good time. i laffed at inappropriate times etc. and may i just say, that tobey maguire is a great nerd? He is posed to bekome a poster boy for us that like the geeks. his ASS is great in this movie. look for the first scene of tobey klimbing up a building sans kostume. check out the ass. moses motherfucker. and james franco? LOOKS LIKE JEFF BUCKLEY. so that's a meow. and willem is krazy too. watch out for the green goblin. that mofo's got 2 mouths damnit. KRAZY! yeah. we're seeing it again. sometime....AFTER daily notes are due...

konkordia has rejected me. i THINK. i got my portfolio back w/ peice of paper that has 2 check marks by 'refuse' and absolutely none by 'accept.' so...i take it they didn't like my krapfolio? yes? no? ok then...i'll go eat dirt...

tiffy. fix thine journal NOW!

battle of the bands was krap. for, er, more good details go to jake's journal. aha.

[bono vox: grunting, sweating, murmuring, klicking - fellow crs students]

[THURSMAY22002|11:00 a.m.]

me komp iz busted. shittyfuck. i have a layout, BUT. so. just so you know, ok? i'm in CRS. i'm supposed to be doing hyperstudio. i have the hikkups. i have been awake since 7:30, which is a kruel reality indeed. i had an AWFUL driving thingy with horace and apaprently, i may be going for my final test on monday. which is bad. i'm not ready. BARF.

BUT. battle of the bands tonight. at my hellmouth highschool, great. i apologize to all the kool people who are aktually making the trek. the word is out and all the unkools are thinking of attending. that means PREPS, yo. but PLEASE all you kool hot freaks do not let this deter you in the least. bekause colleen and her friends will still be there. [it's worth....the drive...to acton. aha. tv kommercials from my childhood. berlington koat faktory?]

yeah. why is gbook still going? die goddamnit.

CRS LAB UPATE: the guy next to jake (who is akross from me) sneezes funny. and repeatedly. derf.

[bono vox: - ]

[Tuesday, April 30, 2002|09:22 p.m.]
oh. they're from new mexiko. so i was off by an ocean and a half....

RODSKI: that would be the divine joe strummer and his hot mescaleros. MEOW. however, i believe they go by plan old 'joe strummer and the mescaleros'. yup.

[bono vox: - ]

[MONAPR292002|06:25 p.m.]

[ gonna fight for your blood tonight ]
i would like to announce that my two dear friends cherakee stoddard and amanda rhodenizer have been accepted to their school of choice: NSCAD! yay! so now it's like, all settled and stuff. alex is going to UNB just like she has always known [alex popped out of the womb waving a banner that read "i am going to go to my father's alma mater!"], cher and amanda are off to halifax and the krazy art kollege, i am, er, well, i am enrolled at karleton [and am going to give ryerson the kourtesy of limited patience] and...jake? well, jake is going to shady pines next year. yep. he's going to live in a seniors home, where his hands will shake the hardest and he kan watch golden girls in peace. jakey sort of, er, 'dropped the ball' with the, er, university applikations, and subsequently hasn't really applied anywhere yet. but he accepts his future at shady pines with willingness and enthusiasm. yes. jake, we'll visit...

did i forget to wish alex a happy birthday last week? i believe i did. i simply wasn't on the old komputer. happy 18th old chum. she had her party saturday night, which was great fun, alas i will not go into it. bekause frankly i don't want you to know what we did. so there. WE DID watch another day in paradise in the wee hours [well, jake and i did] and i love that movie so much. but natasha gregson whatsherface is so bloody awful. jaysus.

skreen is buggered again like it used to be. WHYYYY? arg. and i need to make a new layout so flippin' badly. whywhywhy?

today i had a sum total of 2 klasses. i had 2 spares anyway, 2 were kancelled and i, er, "didn't make it" to kanadian his. [my klock is wrong and i was 10 minutes late. erp]. we did nothing in english and then i didn't have my binder, book, or kalkulator for math. why did i wake up today? i don't think i've elarned a single thing at school in the alst 3 months. we learn nothing. and this past week i've had like NO klasses. why do i go?

i am on the rag. i am wearing a beige skirt today. this kould have been a disaster, folks and i kan't figure out why it wasn't. SO. i'm going to go make and eat chokolate sauce now (this explains why i felt the need to eat soooo frigging much at alex's on saturday. lord moses above.)

this song just sounds like....britain. british. yeah. hey, where the hell ARE they from? maybe they're from britain, leen you knob. they're good at any rate. (which probably indikates a british origin. sorry. just had to point out the obvious...)

sarah said blouse and then i died. heeeelp. make it stop. hey, is ottawa not klose enough for you picky-pants? it's the same province is it not? sheesh.

i'm getting new glasses. bekause i oh so gently [not to mention briefly. lordy.] set my knee on my black and purple kat-eye pair and one of the wings snapped off. and apparently, since the kompany that made the glasses has gone out of business it kan't be fixed? so i need a new pair before may 2nd. mum is SO not impressed with me. erp.

[bono vox: karing is kreepy - the shins]

[SUNAPR282002|03:51 p.m.]

[ i'm in the basement. no shit. ]
so earlier today i sat down and broke the hearts of kings university and st. mary's. and then i had the thoroughly modern pleasure of accepting carleton's hand in marriage via zee telefone. krazy times we live in, no? YES.

and may i remind you all of the guru's band naming policy [as i have been pestered a bit in the past 48 hours for names without the applikants having gone through the proper channels. ignoramus's's's's's's.]: you make the sakred trip through yemen to find my kave [bundle up, it will be kold and snowy. i will wear my winter jacket year round!] where you will then give me head and ONLY_THEN will i konsent to annoint your band with some appropriately ass kicking title. ok? alright.

and for those of you who were konfused, it's supposed to read $8,000 down there. my scholarship is worth $8,000 KDN over 4 years [er. provided i maintain an A average. highly unlikely indeed, but we'll bridge that guilt trip when we reach it.]

yay email. robin emailed me about her nice garbage koncert. and then robin's stalk-y friend ales emailed me and offered to send me hole's unplugged session sur une CDR. which is so nice of her. now i have to figure out what i have to offer her. er. AND THEN i have an intriguing looking email from someone named "vita321" re: "some questions". HOWEVER, due to invalid syntax or some such shite, it is unopenable. damnitall. please resend it?

so, bekause gbook is going down in a matter of days, you all pile into it and leave a last little message for leen and then we'll send 'er off, ok? ok.

i got a typikally delightful email from lomo.kom:
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grrrghh! I love my stinking winter coat and don't care about your good mood sunbeams, bright 'n' colourful spring-shots, or other crap."
oh lomo. bad attitude disguised as good. i love you. i want you. let's go out to dinner and meet each others parents.

this week is aktion packed too, much like the last few. thursday nite is the battle of the bands that my Bitchy, Bratty High School is hosting [uh oh. this is either good or bad. apparently my fellow students are aktually planning on attending. we were uh...sort of diskounting this possibility. didn't really seem like a possibility konsidering the nasty nature of my klassmates. fuckers.] and then friday is probably our trip to halifax to see spiderman [after i work]. jah.

i am obsessed with this song. help. how many times have i listened to it? gargle.

[bono vox: glad girls - guided by voices]

[THURSAPR252002|02:33 p.m.]

[ you'll katch my disease yet. kough. ]
so happy mcbirthday robin, and i think for your birthday i'll... give myself an $8,000 renewable entrance scholarship to carleton university! yeah. how does that sound? (it sounded pretty awesome to me mum. she wailed like a banshee. that cheaparse.)

freakin' hell i lurf this song.

so i'm not so sick anymore. however, i am left with an absolute lack o skin on the end of my nose. fucking no name tissue, in the ugly "lemons and pinks flowers" [kurious kombination, yes?] box that mom always buys that i have been forced to drag behind me at school and everywhere. and any skin that still is klinging to my bones is desperately retreating in the form of big gross flakes. if this keeps up for another day, my little nose is going to look like michael jackson's. and michael jackson's looks like a nasty little penis. SO. we don't.want.that. NO. EW.

oh my god. so i figured out why i like the fraggle theme so much: it's freakin' new wave! it's this krazy new wave, reggae, disco blend. each verse has a whole other musikal style, and there's this krazy new wavey bit that makes you pikture little fraggles busting out robots. rock. as if you needed another reason to think the fraggles were kool, those little fuckers knew their musik....

so. i work tonight, but i think as soon as i get off the komputer, i'm just going to go down to the mall anyway. i got last 2 klasses off [in fact, this is the third day in the row i have had unnecessary extra spares. it's ridikulous. i'm almost aktually tired of the yearbook room. even if our time in there is koming to an end. sob.] yadda yadda and i will go buy alex's birthday present etc.

aha sarah, i haven't been on the komputer like AT ALL, and i kome back and....neither has anyone else apparently. i have 12 trillion emails from jamie detailing phantom planet fandom [that lovable dork made them mixtapes. a surprising show of moxy, from one jamie edwards. i do beam with pride.] and one from the inimitable rodski [who, now, despite my objections, is naming her firstborn 'halifax international airport'. snort.]

today, we had a moment of silence for the four killed kanadian soldiers at our school. my school is partikularly koncerned, as 2 of the 4 soldiers were from nova skotia, one of whom was even from our kounty [and graduated from a nearby highschool, forest heights]. when it was announced this morning the idiot beside me said "who kares? " with such konviktion and disgust that i was just like "you little pigfucker who is going nowhere in life, how dare you even wonder such a thing from the chair where you sit! let's see you get up and achieve something. let's see some sort of movement, that even vaguely resembles an affirmative nod to a goal of your own, let alone a worthy one or one where you are not necessarily the main benefactor. let's see you get shot in the process, and THEN let's see who kares for you...." god, this place kills me...

[bono vox: renegade princess - sonik youth]

[MONAPR222002|01:46 p.m.]

i be one sick mofo, my friends. kough. i'm aktually home from school. i woke up last night every hour, on the hour, konfused from my fever dreams and hearing voices. hurrah! and my alarm klock was playing musik backwards. and i alternately shivered and sweated. and i valiantly got out of bed to get ready for school and promptly lost my balance and keeled over in the bathroom, toothbrush in hand. that is where mum found me, klutching a kold facekloth to my burning, bullethole eyeballs. she said i kould go back to bed, bekause andrew was staying home from school too bekause his nose was running. i figured if a runny nose was enough for him to warrant missing school, whatever it is that i've got is enough to warrant my missing school as well.

yeah.

i haven't been on this komputer since tuesday. a week! only in crs have i gone on the internet. go me.

i'm going back to my room. i'm taking advantage of this extra time i've got to do some work. novel.

[bono vox: - ]

[FRIAPR192002|02:50 p.m.]

[ give good grades and good teachership ]
hey. soooooo. i haven't been on the komputer since tuesday. and i have had a good day today. lemme share:

-first klass kancelled due to lack of people. overjoyed bekause of deepset exhaustion [huge school trip yesterday. wednesday was huge ummm, too. but yeah. this has to be quick bekause i'm supposed to be doing my crs assignment that is due, UMMM TODAY. so.]
-we ran to tim horton's at recess [mad fucking dash. moses.] and i ran into my house for 2 sekonds to get money JUST AFTER the postman was there, so i grabbed the mail and got back into the kar, opened it on the way to timmies and diskovered...
-i got into st. mary's [well. knew that. but.] and my "scholarship" is a laffable five hundred quid. fuckin useless. AND
-i got into carleton [ottawa]'s journalism programme! fuckin' a. now i should apply for some scholarships/bursuries there...
-i got a birthday kard [sulk. only like, way over a week past my birthday. and i only got 3. miserable bastards aka the people i know, partikularly my relatives...] with $25 from my mom's kousin's family. thank you.
-my hot khokolate was orgasmik and i finally won a roll up the rim! FINALLY. a muffin. which i traded amanda for a donut. which i then sat on. skore.

anyway. yeah. i should go and...do work. i have a busy weekend and stuff

[bono vox: smack the pony theme - jake. at the imac akross from me.]

[TUESAPR162002|07:19 p.m.]

[ sometimes it's better to lie ]
ok. woah. ONCE AGAIN. yeah, so i emailed the registrar folks over at st. mary's JUST TO ASK WHEN I WOULD HEAR ABOUT BEING ACCEPTED OR NOT, and what do i get? a qucik email to say "colleen, you were accepted and you've got a scholarship. you'll hear from us shortly." theFUCK? way to ruin it for me st. mary's! i want to be able to open the acceptance letter and be like "cool, i got in", EVEN if it's a school i don't really even want to go to. bekause lord knows i won't be opening many of those from the schools i aktually WANT to go to [earth to ryerson and konkordia, you smug komplacent malkontents. suck it, whydontcha?]. yeah. anyway. i probably only got a scholarship bekause my name is colleen. this IS irish studies, afterall.

once i get my license i am never driving our van. and never am i driving with mom. that little sharp intake of breath of hers just drives me krackers. i'm not krashing us you retard. i told her to jsut shut up and let me drive. horace never freaks out and neither should she. dink. see, horace took me on the highway today and i had like, a near koronary. i've never been 100 km/h. for fuck's sake, i kan't even do 50 in town. it was inSANE. and i didn't know the highway was koming up, suddenly horace is all "gun it to a hundred! gun it to a hundred! you have to do the limit on the highway or they'll hit you!" and afterwards, i found myself vowing to jake that neveragin would i go on the highway, even after i got my license. nevertheless, after supper i was all "hey mom, wanna see me on the highway?"

half.com makes my heart ache. they have johns for like cheap cheap cheap and it's not cheap on ebay anymore and i NEEED it. alas, i am not amerikan. oh i'm dying.

my goodness. multiple sex organs? --good news for the female frogs...

mom: you're going to end up in beauty shcool next year, colleen...
me: man, i would FLUNK outta beauty school so fast...
mom: yeah, that was my idea of a joke....

jesus h. isreal, venezuela and the netherlands...

[bono vox: pull the wires from the wall - the delgados]

[MONAPR152002|07:04 p.m.]

[ father mackenzie and eleanor rigby fuckin' behind the bike shed ]
so. quick note to alert you all that colleen has been accepted to her first university. U. of Kings College in halifax has accepted miss leen into their somewhat prestigious [gag. how did i swing this one? how the hell did i get into a limited enrolment programme?] foundation year programme for an arts degree. the plan was to go there for a year and then try again for photography. eh. not too keen on that plan anymore. but dad thinks i might be able to transfer into the journalism after a year. vhatever. the fucking problem is they want to know by early may and i won't hear from ryerson until may 23rd @ the earliest, and konkordia until JUNE 15TH! the hell? hello, i will have like, GRADUATED by this point konkordia, you kontrary bastard.

i'm going to watch worst witch, klean my room, do my homework and maybe even make a mixtape if time permits. kontain your excitement.

i heart sparta. they doth rocketh. now let's just see if i kan find their ep, like,ANYWHERE. prolly not. anyway, back into hibernation i go...

[bono vox: light burns klear - sparta]

[SUNAPR142002|05:57 p.m.]

[ queen of the twenty fifth hour ]
robin just wants to sit there and watch me undress. heee.

[bono vox: dirty boots - sonik youth]

[WEDAPR102002|12:49 a.m.]

[ it's ok jake, page and plant lacked asses aussi ]
why the fuck hasn't sarah wished me a happy birthday yet? the kuntsack that she is. and i mean, it's been not-my-birthday for like an hour now. BUT NOT SO IN ONTARIO, MY DEAR LOST HOMELAND!

yeah. my year is over. it's just april 9th and xmas eve. oh, and i like halloween too. but uh...yep. my twenty four hour reason for living is like, spent.

so yeah. i got great things. and my friends did great things for me. and i should expound upon this. but it's like 1 am, cherakee is laying spread eagle in the hallway doing her art assignement and jake is flipping through a mag in my room. UNSUPERVISED [eep.] and as for me, i just sneezed. bless me. yes. bless you, birthday girl. and i should go and REMAKE MY BLESSED BED after my friends asses, YET AGAIN unmade it sheer hours after i reapplied the fucking sheets. and ladies and gentlemen: the bed has only been made WITH SHEETS a handful of times in my life. my room is so klean at the moment. sob. i am out of my mind with pride and 'botheration.' it's wrong that it's so klean. i kan't...live in that sort of klean!

i am busy for the next week and a half, like solid. SO. people who i owe email [louise, robin] SORRY. i will be gone. miss me all akkordingly.

'boys' was prediktably bad. the only word for it is 'UNKONVINCING'. between the reason for wynona being on the run to lukas' sluggish eskape plan and even to their UMMM, relationship [brother and sister? is that wynona or lukas?] and attraktion to each other...it just didn't work. BAD dialogue. but motherfucker. lukas haas. yay! i'm getting johns. somehow.

cherakee mary roses and laktates simultaneously. make her stop. make her leave my house for once. stalker. colleen-luver.

[bono vox: chatterchattertitterlaffexplosion - cher and jake]

[MONAPR82002|06:43 p.m.]

[ i panik at the quiet times ]
tomorrow it will be:
hugh hefner's birthday
albert hammond jr's birthday [supposedly]
MY BIRTHDAY! YEAH! 18!

cherakee was surprised to learn that hugh hefner was born on the same day as me. she was freaking out. "but colleen," she said "you ARE hugh hefner!" i chuckled over that one and reflekted that hitler was born somewhere around my birthday too. and also, dave letterman is sometime soon. and we laffed and laffed and laffed and imagined a hefner/hitler/letterman kombo and surmised such a kombo would likely resemble someone such as myself. sniff. i always THOUGHT maybe i was adopted.

and what exactly is a hefner/hitler/letterman kombo? an oversexed, randy, power hungry, bossy, laffriot type individual. meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

and today kurt cobain was found. he was found the day before my 10th birthday. i paid little attention at the time, only reading about it in my mother's people magazine, and really what kaught my eye the most was on the foldout kover was a picture of a fan who had karved 'kurt' into her arm with a razorblade. i was like..."that's...beautiful!" but then i thought "she's gonna regret that" and i think about that girl ALL the time. where the fuck is she and does her arm still say kurt? ANYWAY 6 months later i got the unplugged [on TAPE no less] and thus the nirvana obsession begun. for like 3 or 4 years. then i stopped bekause it was just way too fucking dark. in grade 7, i made a kurt shrine in me locker. i had forgotten that. see, cherakee had archie komiks tapes up in her locker and i had this gross shrine to kurt cobain. my GOD, colleen. was i not embarrassed to open my locker and have people see a tribute to a deadman? jesus. in the yearbook room this year, they found a pikture of me in grade 7 with my shrine. i kan't believe i did that.

my room is klean. vakuumed, even. the first time this school year it's been vakuumed. in preparation for tomorrow. i think only 2 are sleeping over, which blows bekause we kan't all watch strokes on letterman together. it also means we kan fit into my little kubby room. and GET THIS: i'm about to go put sheets on me bed! skore one for colleen.

daddeeeeeee? where ARE you? what time did you leave frederikton fer krying out loud?

ok robin, your book won't let me sign SO: i had no idea there was a garbage b.t.m. i so want to see that. AND holy motheroverboard, you are digging the supergrass, aren't you my dear? which ones did you ask your famille to buy for you for your birthday? and do you know where the strange ones go?

today in math, my teacher said "karbon dating-14 makes it alot easier for you to date something that is much older" and immediately my thoughts flew to dear nick valensi, and his own mrs. robinson. karbon dating-14 is RIGHT.

so tomorrow i kan vote. throw an election, someone.

[bono vox: day the bullshit started - the pixies]

[MONAPR82002|09:20 a.m.]

[ size vs. konformation ]
hammering shit is fun. i just got a 60 on my crs assignment bekause of font size? my hands are sort of OW from hammering shit. but yeah. a sixty. that's just great. i want to hammer some more. my mom asked me what was that hammering sound in my room and i said i was hammering. hammering what? she wanted to know.

'a fucking house, mother.' ..and she laffed.

krap. sixty. damn. FUCK.

UPDATE: jake says the members of supergrass look like they all have down syndrome. he is now DEAD. hmmph. in retaliation i say i want this. harumph. ebay on spares is fun. holy motherfucker! the charlatans were on the face! yahoo!

[bono vox: komputer related ART - krs teacher]

[SUNAPR72002|02:51 p.m.]

[when i spit i spit on those i kare less about ]
i lost the hives nme on ebay but it's for the best as i kouldn't afford it anyway. but i still want it, POUT. howlin' pelle in his h shirt with his rock n roll eyebrows.

oh yeah, and who else nearly died during the wedge when the 40 year old duke introduced the pj harvey video as "thank god she tweezed" or something hysterikal like that? i was like "go mr. nancy! now perhaps you should tweeze.." or whatever her name was.

so. i am probably winning the supergrass kompilation, and definitely NOT winning the hives. hmmm. is PAL the european video format? aren't we VHS? but why is it from los angeles? i WANT IT. god. but maybe i should just bid on johns. i want it. dvd is less expensive but i don't have a dvd PLAYER. trifles, eh? dvd, i realised last night is ruining our society. if teevee didn't make us sluggish enought the fucking TEN EXTRA HOURS OF FOOTAGE on the freakin' brad pitt spy games dvd WILL DEFINITELY DO THE TRICK. i have 2 words: quality kontrol. do we really need 10 hours here?

the new kids on the block behind the musik is fucking ace. i never EVER liked jonathon [HELLO? entirely too quiet. i was a joe girl meself....] but he was toooo kute during the interview. he was very well spoekn and he even has BRACES NOW, and he rocks more than he ever did when he was on the block. oh my khrist it was good. it was funny how they kould all laff at it. that was good.

ANYWAY. seeing as the day i chose to sleep past 1 just happened to be freakin' daylight savings it is now fucking 3 o klock. and i have an assload of homework to do kos next week is busy: birthday, driving, 2 history projects, babysitting allll weekend. damnitall.

[bono vox: - ]

[SATAPR62002|09:25 p.m.]

[ for those of you who thought five dollars was cheap, ]
that whore. i let her play around on my kut rate bargain basement graphik editor for like 20 minutes, and already she's better than me. suck:

and her gross rubber hands left my mouse all sweaty.

hey and for those of you who don't have a birthday present for me yet, bekause, i dunno, saaaaay, vicki gaberaeu was REALLY fascinating or something [ahem. news travels]. you kan get me this. or the slightly more expensive VHS version. jah!

OH. AND. we finally ascertained that YES, that is indeed the fabulous lukas haas in the movie klassik 'witness' [IE: that amish harrison ford movie that law students are somehow subjected to every year at my school.] playing the little boy. khrist he is too kute.

OH. AND ALSO. i'm going to try and find the movie 'boys' for us to watch on me birthday. why? becuase of THIS oh-sweet-jesus picture we enkountered of lukas on the way to figuring out if lukas was in witness. PLUS i knew supergrass did a song for the soundtrack. so. it's like, obvious, now isn't it?

i love and want beer nuts. may they fall from the heavens like manna ...

oh and p.s: cherakee ate meat at my house. ahhh, now cher just sit back and feel the tapeworms inkubate...

[bono vox: jackie kane - hooverphonic]

[SATAPR62002|04:28 p.m.]

SO. we're not in yarmouth, cherakee and i. but it's all good, bekause:
april 27 = "coffee house with some very good acoustic music" in mahone bay ["the middle church." aha.]
may 2nd = possible b.o.b @ our school.
may 3/4 = livewire and thoughtkrime @ the MARC. mwahahaha.
so. yeah. we have to go. jamie sees the white stripes and sloan repeatedly. but colleen sees ummm, 'thoughtkrime.'

NEWSFLASH: estelle getty attends early strokes gig @ merkury lounge.

[bono vox: so long - livewire]

[SATAPR62002|01:55 a.m.]

there is a little fab-y lookalike on tv. the movie is french, and on showkase, so they're fucking like mad, naturally. it is 2. i work in 10 hours. i lost the april face kos i won't pay more than $15 of my dollars for it. so instead i am bidding on the hives nme. i am so so broke. i checked my balance tonight and it was worse than i thought. more than half of my kamera money is gone. people need to pay me back. and i need to put that money in my AKKOUNT. damnitall.

wow. no point. there was one. hey, i just mary rosed.

face stop freaking out. daddy email me baaaaack.

oooh, remembered point. it's $1. and shipping is $2. i should get it instead of like, the $15 hives NME. alas, i like the picture of howlin' pelle on the kover. even if i don't like nme's format. newspaper my round red arse. i'm off to find the tracklisting to that supergrass cd.

[bono vox: - ]

[FRIAPR52002|04:03 p.m.]

[ propaganda kancels self out and konfuses civilians ]
OK. fucking ebay. i'm waiting for s&h estimates for about 5 things. hoping they kome back ridikulously large and i am forced not to buy them. otherwise i will. damnit. i love magazines. and anyway, while i was perusing i forced myself to kompile my top 3 the faces. or rather, the faces that i want:
1)april 2002: kourtney love kover
2)september 1995: damon albarn kover ["england's rising son" heeee]
3) july 2001?: david beckham kover [how to dress like a stroke]
4)march 1995: stone roses kover [pollllllly!]
others: jarvis kover [july 1995],nirvana kover [sept. 1993], liv tyler kover [feb. 1996]...oh fuck it, i want the entire 1990's. and hey you know what? i want this because just yesterday, i was talking to amanda about damon as a father and how i don't know how he is anymore or if he's still with the mother bekause he's in the gorillaz etc etc. yeah. suckit. PLUS his picture is right beside jude law's which i think is funny bekause i think they were separated at birth. or they share the one face.

OH MY KHRIST! the strokes are on the SPIDERMAN SOUNDTRACK? alone with the HIVES? that boggles.

speaking of...it's like, pictures from the strokes reunion tour in 30 years but...like, today. weird.

i may be going to yarmouth tomorrow for a battle of the bands. tonight i go driving AGAIN w/ the driving instruktor. eeep. it'll be DARK. and i think i may be doing the highway. so...please, all nova scotian motorists be advised tonight is a good night to stay in.

the shins are kinda kool. but sparta is DEFINITELY kool. kicks mars volta's ass anyday, methinks.

[bono vox: my seventh rib - the shins]

[THURSAPR42002|05:54 p.m.]

[rubbery krumpet hurrah ]
oi now i remember: christianne amanpour is a hottie. i want her in my bed. like, NOW. get out of isreal dear, i don't want you shot.

[bono vox: song for nico - marianne faithfull]

[THURSAPR42002|05:24 p.m.]

[ shake her til she sings ]
so...i'm wondering when my mother's gonna realise or komment on the fact that i wrote all over her street-facing bedroom window with my window writers. my brothers, whose window i defaced approx the same time as my mothers, and also looks out onto our street, IMMEDIATELY wanted to know what "i know the pieces fit" means. snicker snicker. i really didn't know how to answer. i really means nothing unless proklaimed by some of your favorite teachers and/or maynard from tool. so ...whatever. mum's says "i see a ship in the harbour", which, koincidentally, will be my next t shirt. yep. uh huh.

khrist i wish i lived on a busier street.oh, the havok....

SO. i have like, HOMEWORK tonight. and for some reason i felt kompelled to invite amanda over so we kould laze on my bed and flip thru The Face and eat grody easter chokolate. yep.

damn fuckit. i forget. au revoir, Monsieur Le Mental Health....blah. 'well HA HA HA'(intext citation: conor oberst)

oh yeah: i bet you don't realise how badly your body aches from disuse until you use it. and actually using your bones feels good afterwards, not bad. y'know, once the atrophy has been shooed away and the kobwebs dusted off, it feels like nothing, which makes you realise your body hurt BEFORE when you thought your body just felt like nothing. sort of like putting on glasses and realising your vision has been bad. know what i mean? yeah. EXAKTLY dude.

[bono vox: it's all over now, babyblue - marianne faithfull]

[TUESAPR22002|07:19 p.m.]

[ fiona smiles as she says 'my life is like a garbage kan' ]
tra la la. i went out driving again tonight. for like the 3rd time in 6 months bekause on thursday i drive with my instruktor for the first time. anyway, mom needed to go to the elementary school to watch my brothers play basketball. and instead of driving home and having mom walk up the road to the school, mom just had me drop her off when we were done and i got to drive home alone! this is, technikally illegal. but i was only in the kar for a total of 15 sekonds. but 15 sekonds was enough for me to dork out kompletely and start singing a ditty of indeskribable melody with mishmash lyriks that basikally went "lalala i'm alone here in the kar...holy krap it's illegal but it's fun!..." yadda yadda, sekond verse same as the first....

matthew good is back doing manifestos. and he's got a hotmail. oh dear lord.

speaking of the lord [snicker], i was repeatedly glared at during easter dinner by my mother, who although she has previously shown no religious inklination, decided to explain what easter was 'really about' to my blissfully ignorant younger brothers. she was asking them questions and quizzing them like the freakin' spanish inquizition, and apparently she didn't kare for my answers...nor my generous insertation of "allegedly" [every other word] akkompanied by multiple finger quotation marks to illustrate me point. sniff. so much for freedom of speech in the hennan household.

sarah, i would never turn my nose up at the mess of someone's house. you have obviously never been to mine. pot kalling the kettle black...

anyway. sexy beast is sitting here in my lap. alas, i must go and watch it. i heart johnathon glazer, yes i do! [ alex do you rekall when i made you watch the special johnathon glazer wedge 2 summers ago? i was like "i'm so sorry alex, i know you don't want to see all this freaky stuff, but i do." and then you liked a whole lot of it and i was so proud of you.]

[bono vox: light burns klear - sparta]

[TUESAPR22002|01:00 p.m.]

[ some guy named german pimp ]
yo. so this is how it is:
i slept in first klass and missed english. managed to haul my ass out of bed for second klass - a spare. i get to school to find the emergency lights on and jake alone in the itch dark in the yearbook room (which has no windows. so it is dark) the power is out at school! i live on the same street as the school, and my power was fine so apparently it was just the high school. not even the elementary school next door. so they decide to cancel the rest of the morning klasses. now the power is back on and i am in crs where there is like 12 people and it's another free period basikally. next i have drama (which will be interesting to see how many people are aktually here) and then another spare and then driver's ed. so i will have had 2 whole klasses today. and really, how much work were involved in either of them? BUT THEN i still have drivers ed. blaaah. jake is watching meeeeee. stopit.

i need the jamie nme! wahoo!

my bithday is a week today. i got a present in the mail from nanny [lotto tickets! barg.]

so. suck on that cherakee and amanda. skip school and then there is none. HA. suckers. nana. see, i wished it. i wished there would be another half day kancelled to make it a full 14 days kancelled. and voila.

jake wants (or is forced to by colleen) to write something: hello to all you cunts out there. no, i'm not a pervert, i'm gay! haha..no gays can be perverts...that's right..heh.. mmmmmm.. anyway, jill is drawing stupid baby crap on the boards, and as usual (and amazingly anticipated), mr. smith has criticized her intelligence... which is good cuz it's true! ha! bye!

[bono vox: crs chatter - crs students]

[MONAPR12002|01:35 p.m.]

[ your pockets did bleed ]
oh my gourd! jamie likes it too. well then. i feel like i should be buying up all these $10 trail of dead cds and offering them for a slightly higher kost to my amerikan friends. either way, they still pay like nothing, due to the deathly kan. dollar and i make a buck. wahoo.

sarah. that is INZANE. inzane. i kan't believe that whole thing about your mother, ms. hearst-seburn. ...and i swear to god everybody knows at least ONE kolleen. and they're allllllll freaks and extroverts. apparently, with a name like colleen, one kan't help it. [at least that's what i tell myself] but seriously sarah: i want an unkle jesus. how does one go about getting one of those? i have an unkle john, but...that's about it.

"Affected children may have nasal-toned voices or openmouthed expressions due to mouth-breathing..." i'm trying to decide which member of my family this deskribes the most. the freaks that they all are...

oh man, cnn.com always distrakts me. i'm researching apartheid before me friends arrive to write our essay. but the world is so busy and there's so much to read. i'm trying reeeally hard not to search for patty hearst artikles. i'm a nerd. i was probably the only 9 year old who kould tell you the patty hearst story. i wanted her book for the longest time, but no one ever got it for me so i stopped asking for it.

yesterday, i started making part of my wall into a piece of workable garbage-art. mom's gonna hate it so badly when she sees it.

thw Boy Who Lived has fucked up our komputer royally. that muggle bastard.

it is unofficial rufus mcgarrigle 'mast of the world' wainwright day. we at the rufus list deklared it 3 years ago, however since then, april fools has fallen on a weekend/non-school day. damn.

[bono vox: lessons learned from rocky 1 to 3 - kornershop]

[SUNMAR312002|04:06 p.m.]

[ you in the jesus sandals ]
my brother got a harry potter komputer game for easter and it took me a million years to install it. and it's slow, so i have been dispatched to klean some stuff off of it [i just DID that.] and then i guess i'll defrag it. i'm putting every picture on my harddrive on a disk, because i have trouble deleting pictures "in kase i need them." i am a paranoid hoarder. mom has announced there WILL be a garage sale before i leave and that my stuff will make up the brunt of it. i protested this, because a) my stuff is mostly garbage, but extremely VALUEABLE garbage and b) no one will buy my garbage. in short, no one wants my stuff but me. but yeah, i'm totally rethinking my disk naming system. i labeleld them all 'colleen's amateur child pornography #1-10' and that's like...really vague. not to mention entirely untrue.

so...later, after telling james that it's time he learned how to work the komputer, seeing as i'm leaving in 4 months, i katch the kid telling his friend "next year is going to be so kool! colleen's going to university and then the komputer is ours, i get her room and i kan probably have a tv in there! and maybe even move the n64 in there too!" that bitch is going to miss me. i'll make sure of it.

i got cinderella pyjamas and slippers from my dad! they are so so kool. he also send along some raunchily BAD pictures of me from when we were there during march break. i'm jsut gonna shave my eyebrows off entirely. so much trouble and hassle they are.

i also got the bestest thing from my mom: markers that write on windows!! before bed tonite, every window in the damn house will be dekorated. the poor neighbours... i had barely gotten the paper off the things before mom set the groundrules: "no obscentities colleen! absolutely none!"

speaking of mothers, sarah has posted the most fantastik retro piktures on her page. i want them for a layout. and i kan't believe how much her mother looks like patty hearst, especially in the diamond shaped one. i always thought patty hearst was so pretty. and she was on cnn not too long ago talking about how they arrested a bunch of sla-ers and i as like "she's still so pretty!" and she was in pecker. i love patty hearst.

apaprently, the new trail of dead cd is over at zee lokal music store for $10. wow. hey sarah how GOOD was it exactly? i'm just tickled that such a cd is IN bridgewater, for a mooooore than reasonable price, and khrist it's even on the wall, which is reserved for popular new releases. us lowly non new-release lovin' fools have to labouriously komb throught the stacks with its konfusing "alfabetikal order" nonsense. sheesh.

i am on the rag. i am surrounded by chocolate. this explains why yesterday i felt komplelled to eat two seperate bowls of ice kream...and put pankake syrup on both of them. and also eat a second dinner of pizza at 9. that really hurt. but i wanted pizza bitch.

yesterday my bra wouldn't stop kreaking. kreaking. geriatrik tits.

louise rocks. like, hard. my khrist, and the strokes kouldn't even show up to meet her. douchebags.

[bono vox: - ]

[SATMAR302002|03:59 p.m.]

[ 'and paul was never a pop tart' ]
oh dear god. poor, poor s klub. to add another to the stack, jo has broken off her engagement. let me break this year's s klub woes down for you: jo broke off her engagement, paul just left the band [he. to go back to his nu-metal band.], they were sued by some merch kompany bekause of 'lost revenue' or something related to paul, bradley and jon's pot bust last year, and paul's dad was like...indicted on sex krimes or something. poor poor s klub. but still, they seem to be going to barcelona next season. wtf?

last night at cherakee's birthday party, this one joke koncerning the first line of tools' 'schism' lasted allll niiight looong. and oh khrist, it wasn't funny the first time. but jake laffed and laffffffed. and then the joke about pant-shitting stemmed from THAT. and so on and so forth. it nearly killed us.

they played jeff buckley last night on the wedge. le sob. what a pretty video. what a pretty, ummm, guy. supposedly they played the new oasis song [which is queued up right this moment on my audiogalaxy sattelite] on the wedge. that is so sad. since when are oasis 'indie'?

everyone owes me money, la la la-KRAP. i lend it kos it's there, EVEN tho i'm not supposed to spend it and then everyone takes a million years to pay me back. the bank of colleen should invest in a baseball bat. or some brass knuckles. i'm down almost $50...

so i need to shower and do history and then i'm going bowling for cherakee's birthday part 2.

[bono vox: under my thumb - rolling stones (live)]

[FRIMAR292002|12:49 p.m.]

[ state of flux ]
why do pulp not want you to read the lyrics whilst listening to the rekording?

isreal's going to explode.

[bono vox: 4 st, 7lbs - manik street preachers]

[THURSMAR282002|09:55 p.m.]

[ looking for some young bones ]
pickles are nasty when they're warm. so, stuck in a nice grilled cheese sandwich they totally defeat their own purpose. those fuckers.

oh fuck. my body has been gutted for the junkyeard. i feel like i just did hard physikal labour. all i did was steam dresses at work, but it took me damn near 3 hours. and i spent it squatting and bending so my back, the balls of my feet and my ankles are in the utmost pain. why am i so krippled when all i did was steam floorlength dresses? khrist. i'm going to take a bath. moses!

tomorrow i work on my history projectS. and then i go to cherakee's house and the grand banker in lunenburg again. yaya birthday partieees.

uh oh, this just in. strokes starting to go asshole: they weren't at their own afterparty at their manchester gig, akkording to louise [jamie are you hearing this?!!?]. she found someone who knew their name at zee hotel etc, and they kalled and someone said it was too late to be kalling and that the strokes were partying elsewhere. and then louise went on to make some hysterikal fucking komments about Mrs. Robinson or ummm...amanda de cadenet. whatever you prefer. aha.

so anyway. cherakee made the disgusting observation today that i don't fart i just burp and she doesn't burp she just farts. nice, eh? i made the observation the other day that i don't eat vegetables and amanda doesn't eat meat so therefore together we are are a Perfectly Balanced Diet and part of this Nutrious Breakfast! so ummm...alex....

if i had a point, i've forgotten it. i probably didn't anyway, so stuff it....

[bono vox: house of the rising sun - pink floyd]

[WEDMAR272002|07:16 p.m.]

[ and not leave a footprint ]
ack! i think i'm going to have to re-name my komputer. i just liked the bbr version of the song 'lord lucan is missing' and i've tried before to find out who lord lucan was. WELL. now i know.

and paul left s klub. he was getting rotund...

speaking of rotund, i'm going to go have a donut. donuts are rotund. and yum.

[bono vox: - ]

[WEDMAR272002|05:06 p.m.]

[ 'a terrible fake amerikan angst thing' ]
i love the emporium. i have a headache. happy birthday cherakee. did this spaceship magikally right itself? if it did, the graphik is still rank. damn jpg. alex is dating a jpg, didja know that? yah. the people at my school aren't smart by a longshot, but boy are they observative: "hey, is she wearing a garbage bag?" it was pretty much on par with "hey! they're all wearing ties!" and sadly, the smerter ones know enought to mutter 'freak.' khrist a br tag takes a lot out of a person. i simply don't have time for that. these aren't paragraphs so, we'll jsut foget about those little dudes for now. nothing warrants a paragraph. so... my god. i don't think that's the missing manic they found. i dunno. it's been 7 years, how would his feet stay in tact. richey, where are you? i'm taking a tylenol and going to lay down. because i went to mahone bay and it was strangely tuckering. let's hope they kall me for supper.

richard ashcroft is not the ugliest rock star. i think he's quite beautiful. his 'bad' features aren't all that bad, and even tend to form an alliance and look nice. i kan think of rock stars that are so ugly they're beautiful, but it's not that way with dear richard. those fucking mount olympus cheekbones! i kan think of rock stars who are so ugly they need personalities to get laid [and they have and they do. duh, ROCKSTARS]. and ummm... MAN did heroin ever suit him.

[bono vox: a song for the lovers - richard ashcroft]

[TUESMAR262002|06:43 p.m.]

[ ...before i name some names ]
oh gag. here it is, the one salvagable tracklisting from the mystery mixtape:
-fade away and radiate by blondie
-milk by garbage
-thompson girl by the tragikally hip
-fated by mgb
-stroke of luck by garbage
-sullen girl by fiona apple
-barcelona by rufus wainwright
-my man by billie holliday
-the girl from ipanema by getz and gilberto
-running for home by mgb.

it was very...boring. like...i like all the songs, right? but i was just like YAWN. they flowed together, but there was no dynamiks or anything fun like that. i have a feeling i did a loud side and a 'midtempo ballad' side, like the loser i am/was.

tomorrow is cherakee's 18th birthday. and 2 weeks today is MY 18th fete. and then 2 weeks after THAT it's alex's 18th fete. ...and cherakee ruined it by being born on the 27 rather than the 26. it kould have been perfect.

the golden girls themesong is an anthem of massive preportions. it's unstoppable and i've downloaded it. jake and i sing it at school, because we like the kabaret schmaltz [hello, rufus]. and we also like Sassy Seniors. i'm Ma. you're Jeolous. but ANYWAY, i kouldn't NOT download a whole heap of other themesongs while i was at it. this has happened before...

but i must say that the fraggle rock theme is the best kaffeine/alkaline kocktail like, freakin' EVER! and also, the wonder woman themesong is a stinking pile of shit. sorry. ahhh! the bitchin' HARMonika of perfect strangers...

and my mouth is all burnt. and hell is now spelled with 3 l's. because i wanna

[bono vox: the actress - the delgados]

[MONMAR252002|10:24 p.m.]

[ fuckin' glowing in the dark ]
i went digging through my kassette tapes tonight [they're in a red toolbox on my bookshelf. along with some various barbie accessories. and i found a rubber glove in there, but whatever...] because i was SURE i had hop frog on tape [and voila. i do. jake gave it to me for my 16th, taht nerdbomb] and i was sorting through the various mixtapes i have from various people and the tally looks like this: alex -1, amanda -3, cherakee -1, jamie -2, kathleen -1, robin -2, sarah -1. yep. and then i found this unmarked tape, and i put it in and it seems to be a mixtape of MINE. i think it's one i made for jamie, but the tape was bad, because there's some gross hissing and krap going down. ANYWAY. the tracklisting is pretty blech. when i get it all figured out, i'll write it down and horrify you all, and whoever has like...this tape's better quality twin, please speak up. altho i'm almost positive it's jamie. lordy.

so...looking at the above tally, anyone wanting to swap mixtapes AGAIN [not amanda. she's winning, i have enough from her.] because it's been awhile. i will gladly reciprokate.

yes jamie. your 20 page email was received and enjoyed. and well, you know me and the replies. heh.

hmmm. and looking at the picture in my gbook....i remember that there's, like, a picture of berlin in there too. haha! yes. somehow. ...and that bitch STILL won't lie up smack against the browser. not even at KNIFEPOINT will this motherfucker acquiese.

i finished amamanda's tape tonight. 2 down, 3 to go. but cherakee's is started, at least. yep.

[bono vox: nuffin. - honey]

[SUNMAR242002|03:01 p.m.]

[ every time i see your dick i see her kunt in my bed ]
i just went downstairs to find like, my entire family holed up in the living room reading harry potters and murder mysteries [snort. hint: mum wasn't the one reading harry potters] [except my mum had left to talk to my sister on the phone. and then she decided to watch tv. what is wrong with that? my mum is hogging the tv while her 2 sons enrich their minds...] anyway, i pop my head in and start making remarks like "are you guys STILL READING you boring old sods-" and james is all "SHUSH COLLEEN WE'RE READING HARRY POTTER!" and i was just...told.

i have hit the motherload @ scholarshipscanada, and my login apparently is good @ books4exchange which is like,a used textbook swapper place. yep. man i am tres boring.

no nightmares off of session 9! i rule. but...it's not like i dream anyway, so...

anyway. robin and jamie are making fun of my layout. i KNOW it's fucked, alright? i kan't fixit and i'll just make another graphic, another day OK? anyway. i'm off. i'm going to klean me room. i literally have like, NO HOMEWORK.

[bono vox: kan't get you out of my head (blue monday) - kylie minogue vs. new order @ zee brits]

[SUNMAR242002|01:48 p.m.]

something is fucking up. and the graphic is a pigfucking jpeg, which are untrustworthy whoreskunts. son of a bitch. i kan't figure out what's wrong. arg.

[bono vox: - ]

[SATMAR232002|11:54 p.m.]

[ when brian jones kame near she forgot she was queer ]
blahblahblah. i forget what i was going to say. your loss....

time honoured tradition: ramble randomly until you remember. yeah! so i just got back from jake's. we watched session 9, kos jake's our favorite psychoperv. we had a potluck, which was very international. amanda brought kaneloni [sp? pshaw...] and on the way up i asked her what she had and she kept saying "oh, it's just this pasta...with sauce and cheese..." and i'm thinkin' kasserole, but when we get to jake's and she unveils it, we're all like "KANELONI! RIGHT ON!" and amanda's all "oh is that what it's kalled?" and then is forced to konfess, that yes, she bought it. ha. ANYWAY. jake made greek salad and i made LATKES. i slaved over hot grease all day for those good for nuthin's. i got like, finger arthritis from peeling and grating so many goddamn potatos so that there would be enough latkes for everyone. i was splatterd w/ hot grease anytime i flipped a latke and cherakee brought...mccain's frozen pie. that little fuckup.

at any rate, it was wholly international. with the exception of cherakee's little pies.

alex didn't kome tonight because she was making dinner for her family. what a freakin' dork, eh? lamearse. am i the only person who has friends for the sole purpose of breaking up the monotony of having a family? like HELLO? you alternate the two kamps before you one of them sufficiently annoys you into a murderous rage. DUH, dickheads.

ummm. i realised last night that i utilise insults as punctuation. no sentence, thought, paragraph, tangent is komplete without a mild dismissive "...ya moRON/idiot/dinkledorf/nimbus 2000/retard" etc etc, the insults compounding with the amount of vitriol and spit in my mouth.

but right...alex's family. she'd rather kook for her family than kook for us? nuts. she's like, an akkomplished chef, schooled in the art of Kompany's Koming [i have never seen such a komplete jean pare archive/museum EVER in my life, than in alex's kitchen. they keep that fucker behind GLASS, man!]...and she didn't want our slop. the nerve. whatever.

blue monday. i am obsessed. i am komparing kovers. i did this with wild horses. it's a fun game, join in: pick a widely kovered song. download a varied and interesting mix of kovers. burn on to cd as an interesting kasestudy, and genuine scientific experiment, audio division. except i don't have a burner. i am severely spastic when it komes to the kylie minogue blue monday flavoured brit awards performance. i mean, if that song was wearing off on me at all, it has renewed itself. it's found new avenues to shake my ass as if it were independant from my body, or more logikally, there were puppet strings attatched to it.

[bono vox: song for nico - marianne faithfull]